Category Archives: Cinnamon Girl

Only Three of Us Are Lucky Enough… Father’s Day 2017



The older I get and the more people I encounter in my life, the more I understand that I am one of the lucky ones. Not everyone enjoys a terrific relationship with their father for reasons of all kinds and I am sorry for those who do not.

But I am blessed enough to have had a great father and I will speak for my two sisters here: we were blessed to have Dad as our dad.

Whatever I try to be as a father, I learned from how my father fathered me. When I think of the memories I would like my children to have of me when they are adults parenting kids on their own, I want them to have memories similar to the ones I have of my dad.

  • Walking across the campus of my college alma mater, Catholic University, last week, I said to The Cinnamon Girl “That’s where the bank was where I opened my first adult account. Dad and I did that one afternoon my first week on campus.” He was taking care of me as he ever did.
  • Just yesterday, the hashtag #FirstComics was making the electronic rounds and I tweeted a picture of the first comic books in my collection (comics which are framed on the wall of my office). Dad bought them for me.
  • I think of dad each time I strap on my twelve string guitar. It has a hole in it that dad fixed.
  • We bought a new car in the spring and the impulse to check in with dad on what he thought was so very strong. He always had car advice even if it was not always good advice.
  • When my mother-in-law passed away last week, one of the first thoughts I had was how would Dad respond? What would Dad do?

I could share many more memories but I will conclude with this: I love my father. I always will.

I am one of the lucky three who can call him my dad.

Family 1989

Me, my sisters, our mother and father in London in 1989. Lucky family to have Dad as our dad…

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Cinnamon Girl, Family, Fathers and Daughters, Fathers and Sons, Fathers Day, The Cinnamon Girl

Best Combination, 10 Times Over


Related Content from And There Came A Day


Tin. Tin is the traditional gift for one’s 10th anniversary. The modern gift, by-the-way, is diamonds but no diamonds will be proffered to The Cinnamon Girl today.

Frankly, no tin will be, either. We have decided to treat ourselves to a lovely vacation in lieu of exchanging presents this year and it is killing me (but her birthday is in just over a month and I’ll make up for it, then!).

For reasons known only to her (and, I suspect, to God), The Cinnamon Girl married me and I married her 10 years ago today. And, while I could do some clever math adding up to 10 concerning the past decade –

Oh, hell, I have to do it now that I’ve thought of it!

1 purchased home +

3 graduations from high school +

2 new cats +

2 parents passing +

1 major job change +

1 perfect wife = 10!

Um, as I was saying, I could do some clever math, but I will resist the impulse. Instead I want to write about tin.

There is nothing particularly special about this metal. It is soft. My brave wife is the strongest woman I know. It is malleable. My incredible wife is the most confident and convicted a person as I know. It is not particularly shiny or attractive. My beautiful wife is absolutely dazzling.

What it has going for it is that it combines with other metals incredibly well and it makes them new, different, better. It changes and revitalizes them. That is what tin does.

Without question, that is what The Cinnamon Girl did for me when I met her over a decade ago. She did it when she and I married on a June 9 in 2007. She made me new, different and better.

With sincere apologies to all of my wonderful friends who are not her, The Cinnamon Girl is the person with whom I want to spend my time, free and otherwise. She is the first thing I think about in the mornings, the last thing I pray about when I fall to sleep. She is the best friend I have ever had and she is the wisest person I know.

She is my wife and the combination is all but perfect.

Happy Anniversary, Cinnamon Girl. I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow.

2017-03-03 18.48.23

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Anniversary, Cinnamon Girl, Romance, The Cinnamon Girl

The Passing of My Mother-in-Law


Related Content from And There Came A Day


In the early morning hours of Tuesday, June 6, my mother-in-law, Dora Thornton Durham, passed away in her sleep.

She was 84 years old.

Dora was a character in every sense of the word and her larger-than-life personality was in complete and delightful contrast to almost incomprehensibly small frame. Dora suffered from COPD and the disease took its toll on her, to be sure, but the twinkle in her eye and the edge in her wit remained until the end.

Dora and LBC

Dora Thornton Durham and Little Black Cat, April 2015.

Compassionate, intelligent and engaged, Dora had a saying for almost any occasion and many of them were wise, indeed. She was a life-long educator (her most important student being HJ jr who she taught to read) who valued knowledge and character development and she shared many, many stories about the children she had taught throughout her career. Dora married a man whom she first dated because she thought he was Don Meredith, believed in flying saucers and tried to always see the positive in negative situations. She became more liberal in her thought and politics the older she got. She was funny as hell.

There are so many things about my mother-in-law I will miss, but I will always associate Dora with how much she loved animals.

As she lay in our home in during the last days of her life, Dora was not alone. The incredible Cinnamon Girl cared for her night and day, ably assisted by first year nursing student Sous ChefHJ jr and I were around as well, and her son was by her side, too.

But I am not talking about the company she had from any of us. I am talking about our animals. We have cats and a dog and Dora loved them very, very much.

Dora shared many lovely “last words” with us when it was her time to go, but perhaps none were as precious as two directed at our animals.

As she was losing strength one afternoon, Dora saw our dog and lit up with a bright “Hi!” The wagging of the dog’s tail spoke for everyone.

Later that same day, our lovely Siamese cat Lulu crawled onto Dora’s bed. Dora looked down and said to her “soft.”

At that point, these words were an effort for her to form and they must have felt important to her.

I will cherish many memories of Dora, but, in particular, I’ll hold on to these two.

I did not have the luck to know Dora for a very long time , but I am blessed to have had 10 years with her.

I love her and I will miss her.

Leave a comment

Filed under Cinnamon Girl, Family, HJ jr, Mother, Mothers, Sous Chef, The Cinnamon Girl

I Will Be Her Valentine If She’ll Continue to Have Me…


Related Content from And There Came A Day


This Valentines Day, I count myself lucky that The Cinnamon Girl hasn’t come to her senses, that she still wants me as her Valentine and that she still loves me as she has for these many years.

I have the best Valentine in the world.

I am reminded of this quote from Much Ado About Nothing: “They say the lady is fair: ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous: ’tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me:by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly.”

She is fair, wise and virtuous, and what I have lucked into is very special.

It’s special to be married to your best friend.

It’s special to feel romance hasn’t faded in the years you’ve been together.

It’s special to know that the person you most want to spend time with also wants to most spend time with you.

It’s special to know that someone knows you better than you know yourself.

It’s special to be in love like this.

My Valentine is The Cinnamon Girl. She’ll be my Valentine for as long as she’ll have me.

She is strong. Intelligent. Insightful. Loving. Sexy.

She is everything I have ever wanted in a partner and she is so much more than I deserve.

Happy Valentines Day, my Cinnamon Girl.

2017-valentines-edit

Leave a comment

Filed under Cinnamon Girl, Family, Holidays, The Cinnamon Girl

Link’n’Blogs – 8.26.16 – Sometimes Yield to Pure Joy


Related Content from And There Came A Day


I loved Lincoln Logs when I was a kid. Though I never entertained the idea that I would be a designer, engineer or architect, something about putting together these wooden and plastic pieces was simply simple fun. Connecting to ideas through the blogosphere seems similar to this pursuit, hence the title of this weekly post. Each Friday, I intend to post something interesting I’ve read out there on the internets. Hopefully others will find these posts as thought provoking as I have.

I have no explanation for what may happen if you click the link below this box. You can blame The Cinnamon Girl for putting this in my head… and, if you click the link, it will be in yours, too!

Cat Adopts Monkey… Really

Cat and Monkey

4 Comments

Filed under Cinnamon Girl, Link'n'Blog, The Cinnamon Girl, Uncategorized

I Carry This Feeling… Nine Years


Related Content from And There Came A Day


And you were right, when I walked into your house,

I knew I’d never want to leave.

The Cinnamon Girl and I have been married nine years today and I love her more now than I ever have.

We met later in our lives, The Cinnamon Girl and I, later in our lives after we’d lived a little, after we’d had children, after we’d been through ups and downs. We met when we were adults. We met when we were certain of who we were apart from other.

We met at the perfect time.

The single, best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life was marrying The Cinnamon Girl. Simplest. Easiest. Best.

Early in our engagement The Cinnamon Girl and I made another decision. This decision is easily the second best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

I don’t know which of us posed the idea first but I would guess it was The Cinnamon Girl because she is both more insightful and more wise than I. We made the decision to treat each other with kindness, always. We decided that kindness would be our default when talking to each other and about each other. We determined that we wanted to treat each other as well or better than we treated anyone else.

When you’re blessed enough to be married to someone like The Cinnamon Girl, being kind is very easy.

We’ve lived through nine years together, nine years of raising kids and watching them grow, nine years of career ups and career downs, nine years of weaving our closeness ever closer.

Nine years of kindness and charity and love.

I am a better man now than I was before. I am a stronger man. I am a kinder man. That’s what the love of this woman has done for me.

These nine years have been all but perfect. I know the next nine will be even more wonderful.

Happy Anniversary, Cinnamon Girl.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

1 Comment

Filed under Anniversary, Cinnamon Girl, Family, The Cinnamon Girl

A Cinnamon Day – Happy Birthday To My Lovely Wife

I have been trying to do some organizing of digital photos lately, taking a minute or two (more like a half hour or so once I get going) to move pictures into folders, to file them in my Dropbox and to back them up so I don’t lose them. It’s a fun task and often a surprising one when I get a folder done and play through the pictures like a slide show. Specifically when I look at pictures of the kids and how they have changed so much over the course of the last few years, I am struck by the inexorable effects of time. Sous Chef and I were looking through a folder last night and, lingering over a picture of the kids and the Cinnamon Girl, I said to Sous Chef of the Cinnamon Girl: “she’s hasn’t changed at all.”  Sous Chef agreed.

And my Cinnamon Girl hasn’t really changed since I met her.

Does she look more beautiful today than the day we got married? Yes, she does.

Has she gotten smarter each day, each month, each year? Yes, she has.

Am I more in love with her now than I ever was before? Yes, I am.

But has she changed in any fundamental way? No, she hasn’t.

She remains incredibly smart and funny. My Cinnamon Girl can talk about any topic, can engage on any subject and can hold any crowd. I saw this in action recently when she and I went out to dinner with a group of my co-workers. Telling stories of her former life as a lawyer, she was deeply insightful, appropriately off-color and incredibly entertaining. I sat next to her thinking, and not for the first time, “what’s this amazing woman doing with me?”

Wedding

She remains a wonderful parent to the kids we share, is often the person they go to for advice, is always the person they go to for ready understanding and acceptance. She loves them and they love her. But I love her the most-est. Count on that.

She remains breathtakingly gorgeous. I am so very lucky to see her both as I fall asleep and as I wake up.

In recent months, we’ve had many deep conversations – deeper than our normally deep conversations – about life and the nature of time passing and the strength of our friendship and our marriage. I’ve watched her courageously stand up to new challenges. I’ve seen her face some dark fears. I’ve been brought to tears as she’s triumphed.

When I met her, long before we were dating, I thought that she was one of the strongest women I’d ever met. I knew that she was confident and self-assured. I could tell that she was brilliant.

Each day that goes by and, certainly, each year has done nothing to call into question those early impressions.

My Cinnamon Girl hasn’t changed in the years I’ve known her. She’s only become more herself. And, as I love that self as much as anything in the world, I couldn’t be more joyful.

Happy birthday, Cinnamon Girl – MY Cinnamon Girl.

Leave a comment

Filed under Birthday, Celebration, Cinnamon Girl, Family, HJ jr, Sous Chef, Stretch, The Cinnamon Girl