It Was 24 Years Ago Today…

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• A Letter To My Daughter On Her Birthday | Sous Chef Turns 21
• 20 In The Past/20 In The Future – Sous Chef is 20!

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24 years ago today, Sous Chef was born and each-and-every year with her has been a blessing. 

I cannot precisely tell when the line of demarcation is between your children being children and your children becoming your friends, but the Sous Chef and I have surely passed that. In any list of best friends I would compile, she would be in the top five, without question. Strong, funny, resilient, compassionate and accomplished, she is my favorite person to play a game with and to laugh with about inside jokes. She is my favorite daughter. And, for the next 364 days, she is my favorite 24-year-old in the world.

Happy birthday to you, Sous Chef. I hope and pray for an incredible year ahead!

A photo essay of recent shots:

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Father’s Day 2022 | The Lessons Live On

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• Father’s Day 2021 in Glass
• Thank You, Dad | Father’s Day 2019
• Pepsi, With No Ice; Father’s Day 2018
• Only Three of Us Are Lucky Enough… Father’s Day 2017

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I am not a young man. I also like to think I am not an old man. In my early 50’s, there are enough days behind to feel that I have learned something of this life and enough ahead (I hope!) to teach me new lessons.

One lesson that I have learned and continue to learn is the importance of fathers. 

I have noted in this blog in speaking of my own father that I am aware how lucky I am to have had this man, not a perfect man, but a loving and generous man as my dad. I am aware that not all people are as blessed as I and my sisters were. Dad was a terrific father. I often conjure him up as something of a “Force Ghost” to this day when I need him. As he was when he was alive, he is always there.

Dad learned to be a dad from the men who he called father and they, too, must have learned something to pass the role down to Dad so he could impart some of it to me.

In thinking of my own 3 children, it is cliched but true that I often think “what would Dad do?”

To the men who “fathered” my father and shaped him to father me so I could try to father my children, thank you. Happy Father’s Day Dad, Grandpas, Great-Grandpas, Great-Great Grandpas. Thank you for being fathers whose lessons continue…

Happy Birthday to My Daughter – She Keeps Me Running

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• 22 Years of Sous Chef – What a Year THIS One Has Been
• A Letter To My Daughter On Her Birthday | Sous Chef Turns 21
• 20 In The Past/20 In The Future – Sous Chef is 20!
• 19 Years of Sous Chef… Photo Essay

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I hope that most parents can say of their children what I am writing about my daughter, Sous Chef, on this, her 23rd birthday: she inspires me.

A quick detour from the main point: three years ago, Sous Chef challenged me to run a half marathon. I like a challenge and agreed to take part. She provided a training blue print, talked to me about her preparations and pushed me to race. She was positive, she was funny, she was inspiring as I pushed my then almost 50 year old legs and body to get into the kind of shape it takes to do something as stupid as running a Half.

Throughout the weeks leading up to the race, she would tell me “you have this, Dad” and “you can do it” and, when I would say my old body was falling apart, “you’re not old.” She flew into town from college for that Half and we raced and it was an incredibly special weekend, a moment in time I will forever treasure. She made this happen because she somehow knew how special this would be.

Inspiring.

Last year, in the midst of COVID when everything was cancelled, when she had graduated college and had begun her “real life” and was in the midst of all that these challenges presented her, her spirit inspired us to put together a family half marathon which she, my niece and my brother-in-law ran. She made this happen with her force of will. COVID was not going to get her down. 

Inspiring. 

This year, she started her campaign early. As soon as Denver announced that races like this could return, she got us on it right away, got us registered, got her truckers hat (well, I got it for her) and got us in gear. And another morning of memories was made.

Inspiring.

That is what she is to me and to our family. Inspiring. She keeps us running… I would not have it any other way.

Happy Birthday to my favorite daughter. I love you, kid.

Father’s Day 2021 in Glass

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• Thank You, Dad | Father’s Day 2019
• Pepsi, With No Ice; Father’s Day 2018
• Only Three of Us Are Lucky Enough… Father’s Day 2017
• Remembering Dad on Father’s Day

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When I was 8, my father brought home a brown paper bag with some weight to it. He said it was for me. I reached in and discovered a set of superhero tumblers that were available Arby’s fast food restaurants. We did not ever eat at Arby’s. It only occurred to me later in life that my dad must have gone from Arby’s to Arby’s to collect these or he must have made a deal with one specific Arby’s to set them aside for him.

The later is very likely what he did. That would very much be in character for Dad.

I have shared this story on this blog before, explaining that I loved these glasses, that my sisters broke these glasses, that, later in life, I reclaimed these glasses on eBay. They always meant something to me. They still do.

That my father went to this trouble says more than I could ever write about him. I love him deeply.

These are on the shelf now – 3 of the repurchased glasses. I think of Dad when I see them.

But it was today I made a connection I never had before…

There is a scene early on in Chapter Two of A Prayer for Owen Meany (which happens to be my very favorite novel), when narrator Johnny Wheelwright, for the first time, meets Dan Needham, the man who would become his step-father (minor spoiler, I promise). Dan hands Johnny a brown paper bag while some weight to it. He tells Johnny not to open it, but to watch it carefully, in case it moves.

Dan knows that 8-year-old Johnny will not be able to resist opening the bag and the boy eventually does, screaming when he finds a taxidermed armadillo within, The armadillo will become a symbol of enduring love throughout the novel and Dan loves John with the affection and devotion good fathers impart to their kids, an unabashed and unembarrassed love, the kind I hope I share with all my children.

I cannot believe I did not make the connection between this scene in my favorite book and my father until this morning. Art resonates in our lives…

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

22 Years of Sous Chef – What a Year THIS One Has Been

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• 19 Years of Sous Chef… Photo Essay
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Sous Chef turns 22 today. The years absolutely move far too quickly.

When last I wrote about this momentous day – her birthday – she was deep in her second semester of her senior year of college, working hard on her studies to become a nurse, participating in practica and internships, enjoying her friends at school, living the life she planned for herself. It was something to watch and something of which to be proud.

In the months that followed, she returned home for her spring break and never went back to school, missed out on end of the year goodbyes with classmates, suffered through the cancellation of her graduation (at which she was going to speak), lost precious time with her friends and saw parts of her plans altered by circumstances beyond anyone’s control. It was something to watch and something about which to be incredibly sad.

Since that time, she has relocated to our hometown, begun a prestigious job as a nurse, rented her first house, hiked multiple 14ers, reconnected with local friends and met new ones and embarked on the life she wants to lead. It is something to watch and something of which to be in awe.

But this is who she is. She doesn’t allow things to get her down. She has an indomitable spirit. She is driven. She makes things happen.

She is also kind, compassionate, caring and fun. 

Sous Chef is an absolute joy and we are so blessed by her.

As we walked the neighborhood early in the pandemic, she saw a young girl dressed in a tutu spinning and singing and dancing up a storm. Sous Chef looked at her and said: “Well, she’s not letting Coronavirus get her down!” 

Perfect description of self, my sweet daughter. You haven’t let Coronavirus or anything else get you down.

Happiest of birthdays, kiddo.

We love you! 

 

A Letter To My Daughter On Her Birthday | Sous Chef Turns 21

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Today is Sous Chef’s 21st birthday. If you will allow me a moment, I’d like to write her a quick note. It has to be quick, because her schedule – even in this last year of college, is insanely packed. When she isn’t in class, she is working. When she isn’t working, she is volunteering. When she isn’t volunteering she is taking photos of the food she and her roommates cook and posting them on social media in a fashion that should make Martha Stewart jealous…

Simpy put, she is who I want to be when I grow up.

To My One and Only Daughter,

It is shocking to me how fast these years have flown. What is not shocking is what a wonderful young woman you have become. You are someone I want to be like, someone I want to live up to, someone I strive to emulate. You are caring and compassionate, wise far beyond your years, talented and smart. You have ever known what you want and how to go about getting it. You are confident. You are laugh-out-loud funny. You are lovely.

You are the gift today on your birthday, the true and real gift.

We would be lost without you.  

We love you, kiddo. As your uncle once said when you were a toddler running around a party: “Put a helmet on that one. She’s the only hope of this generation.”

If we had more people like you in this world, it would be a far, far better place.

Happiest of birthdays! We couldn’t love you any more than we do.

Sous Chef Through the Years – 21 Shots

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Thank You, Dad | Father’s Day 2019

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• Pepsi, With No Ice; Father’s Day 2018
• Only Three of Us Are Lucky Enough… Father’s Day 2017
• Remembering Dad on Father’s Day
• My Dad And My Guitar

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I am very grateful to Dad today.

The summer, especially June, especially in my family, is filled with celebrations. We have many, many birthdays and anniversaries and we tend to get together for each one of these events or, at least, celebrate them in combination when we are together.

Father’s Day is, of course, one of these celebrations and something very obvious occurs to me on the occasion of this Father’s Day: without my father, we would not be getting together for any of these events. In fact, this combination of people would not be getting together at all. Some of us most of us would not even be alive.

It’s obvious, I know. It’s how families work: a mom and a dad get together and begats began begetting. I understand. And, equally obviously, without our mother, we’d not be around either but today is about Dad and the following is true of him:

• Dad instilled in us a deep love of family. He was deeply loyal and incredibly protective. My mothers and sisters inhabit that space he left us.
• Dad was incredibly dry and funny and the whole family continues to lovingly joke with and tease each other just the way Dad did.
• Dad cared about serving others and I think he would be so proud of the lives his children and grandchildren have chosen and are choosing.
• Dad loved food and gatherings and all of us around a table and, try as I might, I cannot avoid the continuation of family celebrations. In truth I do not want to

I know that not everyone has the father and grandfather my sisters and were blessed to have. We were blessed and every day, my dad influences my life. No one is ever really gone, right? Dad is not. He lives in days like Father’s Day but he lives in each of us as well and in the many people his life of service touched and in the lives his family continues to touch

Happy Father’s Day, Old Man. And thank you.

 

 

 

 

20 In The Past/20 In The Future – Sous Chef is 20!

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• Sous Chef is 16!

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Sous Chef is turning 20 today and it seems an appropriate time to look back on the past 20 years of her life and to look forward to the next 20. There could hardly be a father more proud of his daughter than I am of her. I miss her when I do not talk to her. I am always thrilled to see her. She is driven. She is kind. She is compassionate. She is motivated. She is a terrific student, friend, sister, daughter, person. She is 20 today and it seems a perfect time to apply a little 20/20 vision:

THE PAST

“Bearsy” + Disney Channel on the radio + High School Musical + Learning to cook + Student Body Co-President, middle school + Manifest Destiny Monopoly + Middle school graduation speaker + Friends + Softball tryouts + Dancing with the Stars + Learning to drive + “We’re Kind of a Big Dill” + Valedictorian of her high school graduation + Presidential Scholar + Leaving for college (sob!) + Wisdom teeth out + Studying nursing + White Coat Ceremony + Madrid! + Getting her first apartment

THE FUTURE

Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten + Unwritten +

Her future is completely unwritten, but there are few people who are better poised than she to make a special one.

Happiest of birthdays, Sous Chef! We love you!

Pepsi, With No Ice; Father’s Day 2018

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• Only Three of Us Are Lucky Enough… Father’s Day 2017
• Remembering Dad on Father’s Day
• My Dad And My Guitar
• 10 Best Dads!

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“I’ll have a Coke with no ice.”

I must have heard Dad order that drink at restaurants hundreds of times. Literally. It has always struck me as funny that he did not drink Coke at home.

He drank Pepsi

Dad loved Pepsi. Loved it. This is something I have adopted from him. I do not drink coffee. I drink diet soda. Dad would have a Pepsi in the morning and keep drinking it right through dinner. And people knew this about him. They loved this about him.

The Mater told me this week that she was out visiting his grave with my sister. As they got close to the headstone, they saw something that seemed out of place.

It was not.

It was perfectly in place.

Someone had left Dad a two liter of Pepsi.

What a lovely gesture. Dad would have appreciated it. He was a man who did many wonderful things – many, many, many.

Dad was many wonderful things himself. And he did wonderful things for me.

I am the father I am because of the father he was.

I have written much about my dad over the course of the years. I remind myself that I am one of the (many, I hope) lucky ones who had a great relationship with his father, one that I reflect on and treasure, one that taught me who I was and who I could be. I remind myself that our relationship was special.

I remind myself that I am the father I am because of the father he was.

He encouraged me. He counseled me. He challenged me. He corrected me. He laughed with me. He teased me. He supported me. He taught me. He inspired me.

He loved me.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I am glad you can celebrate it with a Pepsi.

 

 

 

Dad In Photos – His Birthday: January 18, 2018

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Today is my father’s birthday and while he is not still with us in life, he is always going to be with us. A few years ago I said I choose to think of Dad as being “away” and that remains the way I consider him. He is simply away, but never too far.

I was fortunate this year to come across a collection of photos I had not laid eyes on in quite a long time and, for Dad today, I share some of them.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Many of the things you missed this past year would have surprised you… many would not. But all of things that have gone on are just a little less sweet because I could not share them readily with you.